- Introduce yourself first, if this is the first meeting.
- Open conversation with a topic that may be of interest to both of you, or
with a non-threatening question, or by talking together about an object, a
piece of jewelry or the clothing the other has on.
- Ask informational questions that will provide "free information"
on which the conversation may be built. Informational questions may lead to
a subject of interest to both of you. For example:
- "Have you lived in other places?" "Have you traveled
outside the country?" "Where did you go on vacation?"
- Look at the person, making eye contact, while not doing something else at
the same time.
- Show you are listening by following a comment with a further question or
comment relating to what the person just said,
- Return comments about yourself without the other person having to ask.
Avoid an interview type of situation, and develop a sharing relationship.
- Avoid asking questions that result in either a yes or no answer.
- Smile occasionally, but don't always laugh or giggle.
- Use questions and a tone of voice that convey sincerity and do not sound
phony.
- Do not probe into personal areas that the speaker has not volunteered.
- Allow silences to occur when the other person is considering what to
answer, or, when both of you are thinking of new directions to take the
conversation.
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