RECONCILIATION

Between People

Steps between you and God

  1. Confess. Admit your wrongdoing. (I did ____ and it was wrong.) Any sin against another person is a sin against God. I John 1:9
  2. Pray for the other person to be able to forgive you. Their inability to forgive hurts them. They hold on to the "rod of revenge." It reduces the quality of their lives. It is a sin not to forgive. One reason you pray is that this isn’t part of your reconciliation with them, to help them forgive you.
  3. Repent of the wrong. What is the attitude that led to your sin? This verse indicates that your repentance is needed.  So watch yourselves. "If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. Luke 17:3

If the person you wronged will not talk with you alone.

There are times the person whom you offended will not meet with you. These solutions may work.

  1. Find a mutual friend or trusted counselor to meet with both of you in person or on the phone and mediate.

  2. Find a mutual friend who will act as a go-between, to pass what is said between the two of you. Make sure they have your thoughts in writing or have them repeat your thoughts back to you to reduce any miscommunication.

  3. Put each step in writing, one offense at a time. It will take time for example as you will need to stop at 2.c. and wait for a response. Even though cumbersome, there are many benefits.

  • There is a record. This normally reduces miscommunication. In the event that one of the parties forgets what was said, the written record can keep the event from being brought up again.

  • Emotions are greatly reduced. When you've wronged someone and confess that wrong with them, you have humbled yourself. They may have been badly hurt and instead of experiencing their pain, they may respond with anger. One or both of you may react emotionally in a manner that stifles the reconciliation process.

Steps between you and the person you wronged.
  1. Admit what you did and that it was wrong.

  2. Share how you believe what you did impacted the person you hurt   

      1. Their feelings (loss of trust, betrayal, etc.)
      1. Their physical life (loss of money, time, etc.)
      2. Ask if you missed anything
      3. Say in your own words what you heard them say.
      4. Ask if you got it right.
      1. Tell them that you are truly sorry for the feelings and losses they suffered as a result of your action or inaction.
      2. Explain what is different now than when you committed the offending act
      3. Ask if there’s anything you can do to make the situation right or better
  3. Ask for forgiveness
  4. Leave their response up to God. If they don’t forgive, that’s their sin; it’s not about you anymore even though it has to do with you. If they don’t trust you, give them time. Prove by your lifestyle that you are now trustworthy.

The above are steps that can result in a reconciled relationship. Even if the other person forgives you, it may take a long time for them to trust you, to reconcile with you.  Even if the two parties completely reconcile, things are never really reconciled.  To reconcile is to balance. A person can never take away the pain the other person suffered. Even if money was paid back or a broken item replaced, the emotional pain the person suffered still happened and can’t be fixed. This is part of our broken world brought about by man’s sin. 

 

Between man and God


 

The reconciliation we have with God is superior in that Christ fixed it all with his death. He didn’t just make restitution.  He made things relationally right.  Reconciliation with God is not even presented in other religions because there is no reconciler. This is a fundamental difference that sets Christianity apart. Without reconciliation, a restored relationship with God is impossible.


 

Applying the above steps to reconciliation between man and God.

  1. Admit what you did and that it was wrong.   Jesus knows our sin is wrong.

  2. Share how you believe what you did impacted the person you hurt. He became like a brother to us in every way so He understands the impact of sin.

    1. Their feelings (loss of trust, betrayal, etc.)

    2. Their physical life (loss of money, time, etc.)

  3. Ask if you missed anything   Jesus misses nothing!

    1. Say in your own words what you heard them say.

    2. Ask if you got it right.

    3. Tell them that you are truly sorry for the feeling and losses they suffered as a result of your action or inaction.

  4. Explain what is different now than when you committed the offending act. What's different with Jesus? He’s perfect.

  5. Ask if there’s anything you can do to make the situation right or better. Jesus died to not only make it better, but to make it right.

  6. Ask for forgiveness  Jesus had nothing to ask for forgiveness for. Rather in His final hours, he asked forgiveness for those who crucified Him.

 

  • But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  Rom 5:8

  • All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. 2 Cor 5:18-20

  • and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation–  Col 1:20-22

  •  Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,  Ps 103:2-3

  •  as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Ps 103:12


 

This is a very abbreviated look at reconciliation between man and God.  Dig deeper with Got Questions and Christianity Today